


Before My Time

by AnthemGlass



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Future, M/M, Older Characters, remembering the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 05:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/719654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnthemGlass/pseuds/AnthemGlass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James, a young delinquent is forced to work at a retirement home as a part of his community service requirement.  During his time there he meets an amazing old man named Sidney who has tales of his past that entertain and move him and teach him more about himself than he could've ever thought he'd have learned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Before My Time

**Author's Note:**

> It's a sad fic! And there is mention of character death but I mean come on - it's 2081. 
> 
> Also I'm not saying this is how Pens fans would react, but I needed some drama to push this story along. I believe the word is at a better place than I paint in this fic, though I do understand that progress is still needed. Yadda yadda yadda. 
> 
> Title from the Scarlett Johansson and Joshua Bell song of the same name. It's beautiful and definitely didn't get enough press this year (though I do believe that Skyfall and Adele deserved that Oscar).

**Before My Time**

 

_July 6, 2081_

 

James scowled as he walked through the sliding doors into the mid-sized recreational room.  It was like traveling back in time.  The sterile smell accompanied an old world feel with ancient technologies.  This was going to be horrible.

A large black woman grunted as he walked up to the desk he was told to report to – Olivia was her name according to the tag.  “Can I help you?”

“I’m James.  I’m here for volunteering,” James shrugged.

“You mean community service?”  Olivia didn’t like him.  This was already turning out great.  “You’ll be making rounds with Alex today.  She’ll show you the ropes then you’ll be on your own.  Don’t let me catch you goofing off.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Olivia ignored his forced pleasantries.  “If I hear of one complaint from Alex, I’ll have you sent to jail so fast it’ll make your head spin.”

James nodded silently, he wouldn’t go to jail, he was sixteen, but Juvenile Detention was not something he’d want to mess with.  He’d lucked out in the community service verdict even if he had to serve it at this place.  He just had to make it through one month and he’d be free.

The doors behind him whisked open causing James to turn.  A girl, about his age strolled in, her brown hair bouncing as she stepped.  She smiled at Olivia.  “Hi there!”

“Hey Alex,” Olivia brightened.  This was a very different Olivia.

“Hi,” Alex said turning to James.  “We haven’t met.”

“James,” he managed as he returned her handshake, still stunned by her beauty. 

She laughed.  It was clear she understood why he was here, but it seemed to not matter.  “Hi James.  Let’s get started.”

 

*~*~*

 

After nearly three hours of various menial tasks and stupid conversations with old people who weren’t completely there, James was feeling exhausted.  Alex on the other hand hadn’t lost any of her charm and poise she’d exuded since walking in that morning.  She sparkled.

Then everything changed as the came up to the final room in the rounds.  Alex grew serious and much of the color and buoyancy faded.  “Okay.”

“What’s wrong?”  James couldn’t help but be thrown by the sudden shift.

“So this is Sidney’s room,” she said as if James understood what she meant.  “He’s… difficult.”

James had noticed that all day Alex had referred to the tenants as Mr. and Mrs. and had never used their first names.  “Sidney?”

“Yeah, his file is sealed and he doesn’t like to be called anything other than that,” she thought for a moment.  “Listen, this will be rough, why don’t I just do it?”

This was James’s chance to make up for his hoodlum attitude and vibe.  He could prove his bravery.  I mean how scary could this old man be?

“I got this.  Just go in and give him his medicine?” 

Alex worried her lip.  “Yeah.  Are you sure?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You probably won’t get him to take the pills.”

“Oh yeah?”  A streak of mischief flashed across James’s face.  “How much you wanna bet?”

Alex flushed at his flirting.  He’d been laying it on thick the whole day and she was acting like it annoyed her, but James hoped he was seeing a bit of interest in all that annoyance.

“How about this?  I get him to take the pills and you go on a date with me.”

Alex raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms.  “You’re on.”

James flashed a huge grin.

“Okay.  I’ll stand out here.  Just shout if you need something,” she said handing him two small cups each filled with an identical set of pills.  “The second is a back-up.”

James shrugged.  Okay… whatever.  This was cake.

He knocked before opening the door and stepping in. 

The room was different than the rest.  It was so sterile it made the rest of the retirement center feel like a flower shop.  Not a thing hung on any walls, no flowers adorning any sill or table.  There wasn’t a TV or a tablet anywhere.  What did this guy do for fun?

In the center of the wall to his right was a single bed with crisp white sheets wrapped around an old man.  He seemed to be just waking and definitely wasn’t happy about it.

“Sidney?”

“Who are you?”  He asked, all pleasantries forgotten.

“My name is James.”

“Where’s the girl?”

“I’m filling in for her rounds for a while.”

Sidney grumbled shifting in his bed.  This wasn’t hard at all.  James stepped up to his side and handed him the small cup of pills like he’d seen Alex do with the other tenants.  Sidney took the paper cup and looked at the pill before chucking them clear across the room.

The shock was so great that James actually chuckled.  “That is some arm you got there.”

Sidney cocked his head, a small bit of humor gracing his expression.  “The girl used to pretend that that didn’t annoy her.  Now she can’t seem to hide it.”

“I see why she gave me a spare.”

“I’m not going to take ‘em.”

James smirked at the old man.  “Oh yeah?”

The humor faded and his defensive stance returned.  “You’re wasting your time.”

“Listen,” James said grabbing the single chair in the room and scooting it up next to the old man.  “These are going to help you.  They’ll help you to live longer and more comfortably.”

“Fuck that,” Sidney scoffed openly.  “Maybe I don’t want to.”

“Why the hell not,” James laughed.

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“You could never understand.”

James sobered for a moment – deep in thought.  “Okay.  What about this?  There’s this girl out there and I REALLY like her.  I’d like to impress her.  You gotta understand that.”

Sidney stared at him for moment.

“You gotta give me a shot with her.  We have a deal – you take the pills and she’ll go on a date with me.”

Sidney took the back-up set of pills from James and after staring at the assortment of colors with scowl he downed them with the water beside his bed, “She’s a good girl.  You’d better take her on a real good date.”

 

*~*~*

 

“How was the date?”  Sidney asked the next morning when James came in with twin cups of pills. 

“Haven’t gone out yet.  It’s tomorrow night,” James smiled.  “Thanks again for that.”

“Eh,” Sidney groaned, the curmudgeon act flickering in and out.  “I don’t think I have to warn you that if you hurt that girl I’ll hurt you.”

James did his best to hide the snicker that’d arisen from the thought of the old man trying anything on him.  “Yes sir.”

“Why are you here anyways?  Trying to impress the girl?”  Sidney asked as he mindlessly grabbed the cup of pills and swallowed them.

“No,” James flushed red.  “Community service.”

“Ah,” Sidney nodded knowingly.  “What’d you do?”

“Trespassing,” James shrugged.  “It was bogus.”

Sidney grumbled as he shifted in his bed.  “How long you have to do this?”

“Till August, 6th.  One month,” James said as if that month couldn’t come soon enough.

“Why are you still here?  Don’t you have work to go do?”  The curmudgeon Sidney was back.

“Actually,” James grinned propping his feet up on Sidney’s bedside table and leaning back in his chair, “I have fifteen minutes until I have to be finished with my rounds.  And you’re the last… so I’m going to relax.”

“Oh great,” Sidney grumbled.  “What can I do to make you leave?”

“Tell me a story,” James said ignoring Sidney’s request.

“No.”

James sighed and closed his eyes.  “Fine.  I’ll tell you a story then.  The night was dark and cold.  I broke into the doors unaware of their silent security system.  I grabbed some skates and went out on the rink.  I only got like ten minutes of skating in before I was busted.  It was really funny watching the cops trying to catch me on the ice.  Fucking hilarious.”

“Skating?”  Sidney’s interest was instantaneous.

“Yeah.  I play hockey.”

“Really?  Where do you play?  A local team I assume.”

“Well…” James flushed.  “I may be kind of… in between teams right now.”

“What’d you do?”

“Punched the coach,” James sighed.  “I’m the best player in this league and I deserve my playing time.”

Sidney had to chuckle at that.  “You’re clearly not the best if you still think like that.”

“Oh don’t give me all that ‘there is no I in team’ bullshit.  I’ve heard it a million times.”

“It’s true,” Sidney said sitting up a bit in the bed.  “I used to play and I promise you that is true.”

“Oh yeah?  When did you play?”

“It’s been years,” Sidney said his voice indicating that memories were taking over.  “Years.”

“Were you good?”

“One of the best,” Sidney said pausing before adding, “on my community team.”

James leapt up.  “I gotta go.  You’ll have to tell me all about it tomorrow!”

 

*~*~*

 

“What made you stop?”  James asked as Sidney downed the pills for a third day in a row.  “Hockey I mean.”

“It was a different time back then,” Sidney veiled.  “Not everything was as equal as it is today.”

“Oh,” James nodded understanding.  They’d read about it in history.  “You’re gay?”

Sidney swallowed, “Yeah.”

“Did you have a husband?”

“Never a husband…” Sidney remarked sadly.  “But I did have someone.”

 

_He was a teammate and we were best friends.  I remember one day… it’d been about a year since we’d first started… dating I guess you’d call it.  Anyways, we were on the ice, just to the two of us.  We were very competitive and we had been arguing about something, fuck if I remember what it was.  But we’d decided to settle it with a race.  When I won I made him pay up with a kiss._

_He tackled me into the boards and laid it on thick before pulling something out of his pocket – a small black box.  It had two rings on it, each with it’s own silver chain.  Since we couldn’t be open about our relationship with the world, we’d kept a promise with each other hidden around our necks beneath our clothes._

_I can’t remember a time when I was so happy.  I was on the ice with the man I loved and we’d just sworn to each other that this would become a lasting relationship._

 

“What happened?”  James asked.  He was straddling the chair today, his head resting on his hands staring at Sidney with deep concentration and rapt attention.

Sidney stared at the blank wall in front of him unable to really form a coherent thought.  Instead he just said, “I think your rounds are finishing up.”

“Shit!”  James said.  “You’re right!  Tomorrow, I’m going to speed through them so we can have more time.

“Oh joy,” Sidney scowled returning to his old self.  “Please don’t.”

James laughed ignoring the man.  As he sped out of the room he nearly toppled over Alex.

“Oh!”  Alex shouted as James caught her.

James stared at her for too long of a moment before righting her and letting go.  “Sorry.”

Alex looked at the door he’d just come from.  “Were you in there?”

“Yeah,” James blushed rubbing the back of his head.  “We were talking and I kinda lost track of time.”

“You guys talked?”

“Yeah,” James smiled.  “He’s really cool.”

Alex couldn’t hide her impressed expression and in turn James couldn’t hide his pride.

 

*~*~*

 

A week and a half into James’s community service he’d gotten his system down, allowing him to get all his work done and still spend a fair amount of time with Sidney.  In turn Sidney shared small stories of his past with his community team.

“So what happened?  I mean after you guys got outed?”

“Why do you care?”  Sidney grumbled.  James was used to Sidney’s deflections.  Ignoring them was always the best course of action.

“You were saying that the local papers caught wind of everything… then what?”

Sidney grumbled before settling into his bed a little more and returning his gaze to the empty wall.

 

_After news got out about us we had a bit of a falling out.  I just couldn’t handle the thought of everyone knowing about me… knowing I was gay.  It was a different time and it was not okay.  Not for me._

_He, on the other hand, had decided it was a good thing.  He said he was proud to be with me.  And I… I freaked.  I gave him back the ring and the chain and I told him we were done._

_I… I regret it to this day.  It was the worst decision of my life.  The biggest mistake I’ve ever made._

_After a struggle with getting everyone to accept it the fans split down the middle, ticket sales to our games dropped, and we lost a bunch of sponsors.  It was a disaster.  The team was going to fold and it was our fault._

_Without me he had no reason to stay and hurt the team any longer.  So he left for home – a home where he was disgraced and labeled an outcast.  He settled alone in a home near his parents who were some of the only understanding people left in his life._

_I left soon after.  Reduced to an empty shell of what I’d been before.  And it was no one’s fault but my own._

 

James hadn’t felt this way in years.  The wetness in his eyes was a foreign experience, and emotions in general had been relegated to the “weak” part of his persona. 

Sidney didn’t reflect the sadness he’d just relieved.  Instead he held his head with one part pride and part shame. 

“Shit,” James breathed finally breaking the silence.

“It was a long time ago,” Sidney responded.  The walls of the man’s disgruntled attitude seemed to have completely dissolved.  Instead it seemed the man was relieved to finally get his story off of his chest.  “A different time.”

 

*~*~*

 

“What do you guys talk about?”  Alex said stirring her glass of iced tea. 

James smiled.  “He’s been telling me about his past.  It’s pretty cool.”

“That’s great.”  Alex and James sat at the small bakery eating their sandwiches and smiling at each other.  James would call this their third date.  He had been happier than he’d ever been before with her.  She balanced him out in impossible ways.  Sidney’s threat always lingered in the back of his mind, a pleasant reminder of Alex’s support that she didn’t even know she had.

“Thank you, for everything,” James said sobering a bit from his joy high.

 

*~*~*

 

“Hello James,” Olivia smiled as he walked in a bit early.  She’d seemed to have finally warmed up to him.  Likely Alex had been gossiping about their dates and his unending charm.  “Your last day was yesterday, right?”

“Yep!”  He beamed back. 

He finished his rounds faster than ever, ecstatic to get to Sidney. 

“Hey!” He said entering the room, one cup in hand, the back-up had been deemed unnecessary long ago.

“Why are you back?  Weren’t you done yesterday?”  Sidney led with the curmudgeon attitude.

“Cause you’re such a peach,” James teased handing over the pills.

“Fuck you too.”

“So…” James took his seat allowing Sidney the opportunity to continue the story.  He’d been jumping around to random moments in his life.  Sometimes he talked about his lover – sometimes he mentioned the strides the country and the world made in gay rights – sometimes he just talked about the sport of hockey.  If James were to pick which was his favorite, it’d be the hockey.  Not just because it applied to him, but also because Sidney was always the most at peace when he spoke about the sport. 

“What do you want to hear today?”  Sidney gave James the rare opportunity of picking the subject.

James had been wondering about the lover.  He hadn’t mentioned anything about their relationship after leaving the team.  Now that he Alex were officially together, the thought of loss was always lingering in the back of his head like an unswattable wasp.   James wanted to believe that love could last even through the dark times.

“Did you ever…” James took a breath.  “Did you ever see that guy again?”

Sidney took a deep breath, as if he’d been waiting for that one.

 

_I did.  It was a twenty-one years later.  I had been able to live off some money I’d saved, but in order to keep myself busy I opened a rink here in town.  As perception of homosexuals changed I realized that I could be freer with my time.  I started a small hockey league and settled into my new life._

_I got a call from an old teammate.  He’d kept in touch by calling me once a year.  This call was not coming at that once-a-year mark though, instantly I knew something was up.  He was calling to say that my teammate, my ex-lover was sick and he didn’t have long.  I was terrified of this day.  Somehow I knew it would come, but it still seemed far too early._

_I boarded a plane and traveled to his home.  I sat beside his bed for six hours before he woke up.  We just stared at each other comfortable in the silence.  He finally told me that he was glad I’d come and I told him I was sorry.  That was it.  That was all we had to say on what had happened._

_I spent a week by his bed.  Rarely leaving him.  Then one night I kissed him and he fell asleep.  He… he never woke up.  He died with me by his side – his hand in mine._

 

“Sorry you asked?”  Sidney arched his eyebrows.  Emotion finally shown on his face.  This story was much more recent than any he’d previously told James.

“No,” James managed.  “I’m so sorry Sidney.”

“Don’t be,” Sidney whispered.  “I got to see him.  I held him, I kissed him, and I said goodbye.  It was more than I could have ever asked for.”

“I… I gotta go,” James seemed bummed that he had to leave.  “It’s date night with Alex tonight.”

“Have a good one James,” Sidney offered a smile before saying, “And remember, there’s no I in team.”

“Ha fucking ha,” James said as he stood and left.  He stopped just before the door and turned.  “Thanks for everything, Sidney.”

“You’re welcome, kid.”

 

*~*~*

 

James took a little more time on the rounds now that he wasn’t obligated to follow a tight schedule.  He grabbed the last cup and headed into Sidney’s room. 

“Sidney?”  James said as he walked in.  A man was standing by the bed, replacing the sheets.  It was an orderly that James had met during his service.  He knew what this meant. 

“Hey James,” the orderly replied, everyone had been talking about how James and Sidney had become so close.  He placed a hand on his shoulder.  “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” James whispered his eyes falling on a manila folder on the bedside table.  “Can I?”

The orderly nodded.  “I’ll leave you alone here,” and headed out of the room.

James picked up the folder and opened it.

 

SIDNEY CROSBY

Born:  August 7, 1987

 

The file continued, but James couldn’t read it.  There was no way this was possible.  Sidney Crosby… the star hockey player for the Pittsburg Penguins.  He’d left after the Deadspin article about his relationship with Evgeni Malkin.  Everyone knew the story but no one had heard from Crosby for years. 

“Community team my ass,” James let out a single sad laugh.

When James finally allowed himself to keep reading he found out more than he could’ve ever imagined.  The rink that Crosby had opened, it was the same rink James had broken into – landing him here.  And the hockey league he was having so much trouble succeeding in… it was Sidney’s league he’d started himself.

James took a seat on the bed trying to make sense of the flood of information.  A soft knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Yeah?”  James choked.

“Hey,” Alex said stepping in a look of sad understanding painted on her face.  “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” James nodded.

Alex sat next to him and put an arm around his shoulder.  “He told me to give this to you after he passed.  He yelled at an orderly for twenty minutes to get me in here.”

James chuckled accepting the brown paper bag that was stapled shut. 

“I’m not supposed to be here while you open it.  I’ll stand out in the hall.  Just come out when you’re ready.”

James nodded before carefully ripping the staples and reaching in.  A small paper cup was at the bottom, the same that had held Sidney’s pills.  Inside the cup were twin silver rings with chains.

James picked up the cool metal and held it in his hands.  They felt heavier than anything he’d ever held before.  Two rings – two men – a partnership that defined a sport and started a movement.  These two rings had held that power and they were in James’s hand. 

“There’s no I in team,” James said aloud to no one.  Sidney had been giving him a speech about there being no I in team each and every day that James had been with him.  Sidney had passed knowledge of a life of a great man to James.  James had proven his worth by returning for that single unprescribed day – showing Sidney that he’d learned from the man and that his life would forever be changed.

James just couldn’t believe it.  Again this time to the spirit of his mentor James spoke aloud, “There’s no fucking I in team.”


End file.
